Today I was at my best friend's baby shower and had a chance to chat with one of the women there about photography and my photos. I briefly mentioned what has been taking place and how "business" has definitely been picking up. About half way through the conversation she asked me if I was happy. I was kind of shocked by that question. In the few years i've been taking photos not once has anyone asked if i'm happy.
I think people just assume because I do it that I love it.
That really got me thinking...do I love it? am I happy? Currently i'm not happy with my images. I think they're average.
All they are is a properly set up/cropped and in focus image and to be honest my recent images have been everything I never wanted to be... so why am I taking them? Because i'm looking ahead. I'm learning the basics of posing so I can hopefully grow from there into a guided candid and lifestyle type image.
Even though I try to focus on what's ahead it's easy to be discouraged when I scroll through images on Pinterest and social media and compare my work to others. How come some people are so much better at posing and make posing look natural? The comparison game is a deadly trap and as soon as I start to think those things I quickly remind myself that even though i've been taking photos for 3 years now i'm just starting this journey of working with people, posing them and working with strangers. And all those photographers that I follow and "envy" also started somewhere.
I heard this excellent quote recently regarding Envy. It mentioned that envy is pointless because when someone else gets something it takes nothing from you.
How true is that? I see some photo pages that have thousands of "likes", assistants, their own studio and excellent gear. It's easy to get envious or jealous of that but I have to keep reminding myself why i'm doing what I'm doing. Everything they have doesn't take the awesome things I have.
I originally started B o G to give people a break and to bless them. To give them a good quality image and a few nice prints for a decent/low cost.
Some of the time I don't get paid at all and sometimes I do. I knew going into it that's how it would work out. Am I crazy? Probably. But i've had low points in my life where God has used people to bring me hope and show grace when I thought I didn't deserve it. I'm so thankful for those people and I truly hope that one day I can be that to someone else.
So while it might be frustrating along the way I know this will be worth it in the long run. I have a lot of ideas of where I want B o G to go but i'm also open to doors that haven't been opened.
To answer the question about being happy. Yes, I'm happy when I look at the big picture of where this is going even if i'm in a rut right now. I remind myself it's just a small part of this journey that will no doubt be excellent. Even if my photos always stay "average" or "ordinary" to a fancy photographer... if God is calling me to take photos He will no doubt make my ordinary photos extra ordinary in His own way and on His time!