Hey moms this is for you!

February 26, 2019  •  Leave a Comment

Most of you reading this have a facebook and are familiar with how the newsfeed works. Typically a friend of yours will share something and it will show up in your news feed. Something that would (most likely) relate to you because by now a lot of your friends have similar interests or you follow people that share things you're interested in. I say most because obviously there are things in your news feed that you'd never put there and be glad to never see again but the majority of the things you read are probably because of your likes in the past or things you follow.

For me most of my friends are in different phases in their life than me so a lot of my news feed is a mixture of photographers I follow,  old home DIY tips, fitness posts or stay at home mom survival memes.
I obviously have a wide variety of ages on my feed so I get posts regarding many seasons of life. Some moms are posting about how quiet their homes are, almost too quiet and they miss the chaos while other moms are talking about how it's like they live in the game of jumanji.

My newsfeed regularly has a wide variety of interests and ages but what I will say that has always been a common share regardless of the age is articles of women begging their husbands to take more photos of them. Seriously, of all the common things to see this is by far one of the most constant article/topic shares from several ladies I know. As a woman photographer I can see both sides but honestly when I read these articles don't sit well with me. 

I can google "moms get your photo taken" and the whole first page is all about telling your guys to take the photo of you at home with your kids. I'm sure the list is endless but I stopped after the first page. Clearly our articles and rants online are not solving the problem. This has been an issue for decades proving this is beyond us but simply how we are wired.

Years ago I read this book called "Men are waffles and women are spaghetti."
Long story short men typically like to do one thing at a time and are very compartmentalized (similar to a waffle) they have boxes. Women? We are spaghetti. When we have one thought it's like a pasta noodle in a bowl of noodles. Rarely do we have just one thought but one thought touches all the other thoughts in our brain. Yes, this is a generalization so i'm sorry if I offend you but this is the topic of the book that I happen to agree with. Anyway, because men are waffles they're one thought, one box, one moment at a time. They're not thinking about taking the picture they're thinking about being in the moment. So if men and women's brains could combine and find the perfect balance of being in the moment and documenting the moment then it would be perfect! But that's not the case. Therefor we, as the women(mom) need to realize that a mans brain isn't going to change because of some article you tagged him in on facebook that he probably didn't even read. 

As a woman this is my take on this...
If he doesn't take your picture it's not because he doesn't realize they're important to you. I really think it's just because guys are great at being in the moment.
Me asking him to take my picture all the time is like him asking me the make, model, color and year of the truck that just drove by... uhhh yeah.no.


As a photographer this is my take on this...
If this is something that is truly important to you, you WILL find a way.

Take the initiative to ask a friend over to take photos. if it's something that is REALLY important to you find yourself a photographer that does in home/lifestyle photos to document your day to day.
If you want to look perfect hire a photographer that focuses on wardrobe, hair and makeup. 
If you want to be edited find a photographer that edits a lot.
If you want super posed photos find a photographer that does posed photos.
If you want a candid photographer that has you running around and making farting noises - find that photographer.
If you want all the images in black and white or film find yourself a photographer that photographs in black and white or film.
Do you get my point here? There are photographers ALL over.
All different skill levels and all different styles and all different price ranges. I can name probably 10 in the immediate area without even thinking that hard about it.

Stop using the excuse that your husband doesn't take photos of you as to why you're NOT in a photo.
Have a friend come over with a point and shoot. Have a friend use a cell phone. Set up your phone or camera on a self timer. 
If I have learned anything in my years of photographing people is that it is all about priorities. If getting your photos done is as big of a priority as you say it is then you, momma, will make it happen.  
There are photographers left and right. Probably 1 out of 5 friends of yours has a dslr that would suffice.
There are photographers all over of different styles, personalities, packages, prices etc.
I guarantee there is someone out there that will fit your needs and your style.
Again, if it's something that is incredibly important to you, you will make it happen.

But please, i'm begging you to stop making excuses and waiting around for your husbands to do something they're not necessarily wired to do.

I have a good friend who's a male and a professional photographer. I called him and asked him to verify my thoughts on this and you probably wont believe me but when he goes home. He's just home.
He does not take a lot of photos and if he does it's on his cell phone not on his professional camera.. I mean surely you'd think he has all these amazing photos of his family. I figured if any one husband would be the husband to be better about taking more photos it would be him, but he doesn't because he's (gasp) in the moment.
So if your husband isn't taking your photo it's not because he doesn't care or because he hasn't read those millions of articles posted it's simply because he's in the moment and the last thing on his mind is taking a photo. My suggestion to you? Instead of tagging your s/o on facebook articles redirect that energy into finding a photographer that fits your style and families needs. 

Whether you're reading this locked in the bathroom eating chocolate all by yourself while little fingers creep under the door or if you're in a home that's so quiet you can hear a pin drop. This article is for you. And while it's a little blunt it is completely out of love because I want you in the photo. I want you to have images you love. I want your kids to have images they love of you reading them books, braiding their hair, doing dishes together, making cookies, helping them brush their teeth, pulling gum out of their hair and wiping their tears(probably from pulling the gum out of their hair).
The list is endless of all the beautiful, raw candid moments that make up just one day when they are little of moments you'll want to remember when they're older.

Whatever it may be and regardless of your age and your season of life(even if your kids are grown).
Find a photographer that fits your needs (budget, style location etc.) & get in the photo. As large of a roll that you play in their lives you deserve to be remembered and cherished. 

 


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